The Miracle

I had always lived a life without love.  It started early, when my needs were neither acknowledged nor met and I slowly became invisible.  My own feelings scared and startled me because they were not important to those around me.  Slowly, I grew ashamed of even having them.  As a child, I was constantly berated for how … Read more

The Sideboard

My mother’s mother was diagnosed with lung cancer when I was 10.  Throughout my childhood this woman was a source of light in my life.  She took me on trips, bought me pretty dresses, brushed my hair and fed me sugar cereal and Chocolate Snaps (I can still picture the cat’s face on the box).  … Read more

Bomb Shelter

People often make the assumption that parents deserve our utmost respect and attention no matter their shortcomings or misdeeds.  I believe I must be in the minority of people that strongly disagree.  For example, it is my personal opinion that the mere act of giving birth to someone does not make one a true mother.  … Read more

Loving For Survival

For my entire life, I have been loving for survival; returning to my family of origin in the arms of romantic partners and staying too long in relationships that were harmful to me.  This approach failed every time.  It is even more poignant at this time of year, when I am bombarded by photos depicting … Read more

The Well

How do we recover from the daily task of living on days when we feel broken inside?  How do we continue to love even though our hearts get repeatedly broken and after those we trust disappoint us? How do we thrive? These questions crossed my mind tonight as I prepare to spend my first Thanksgiving … Read more

Seven

“We are born of love; love is our mother.” – Rumi If only these words rang true for me. I have never known a mother’s love. What I received from my mother was toxic, poisonous and, if absorbed, sure to destroy any semblance of self worth I had managed to gather while growing up in … Read more