Brevity

As long as I am alive there will always be another side—an other side.  In the midst of grief, loss, pain, or transition I often feel as if the struggle will never end.  I get stuck in the mire, sometimes allowing dark thoughts to take over and losing myself for a while.  I forget that … Read more

Helen

Last night I dreamt of being in my paternal grandmother’s house.  It was just as she had left it the day I went with her to the hospital.  We didn’t know then that she would never come home, and would instead spend the end of her life in the clutches of Parkinson’s disease, wasting away … Read more

Crescendo

My uncle stopped taking his medication.  He has schizophrenia. He and I have never met face to face—except when I was a toddler—but we have developed a close and caring bond over the phone.  He is a genius who attended an Ivy League college and had the world in his hands; even a fiancée.  One … Read more

Disarmed

She found herself in the throes of something cosmic–a purity of heart emanating from the center of her chest.  She could feel lightness take over as the shadows of yesterday receded from her heart and mind.  She stood in silence, allowing the feeling to wash over her.  It was foreign yet beautiful–the antithesis of the … Read more

My Anti-Resolution

Here I am, only one day away from the New Year, unable to make any formal resolutions.  Like so many of us, I used to make promises for each year that primarily involved forms of torture or self-punishment.  Looking back, these resolutions always came from a place of feeling deficient in some way–not successful enough, not thin … Read more

Finding Christmas

For most of my young life, the holidays were a very confusing and conflicted time.  For one, I was always sick.  Without fail, I came down with strep throat or the stomach flu and could not fully enjoy the holiday.  Accompanying my various illnesses was maternal exasperation over the fact that, as usual, I needed … Read more

Glimmer

Today I am grateful that I am able to feel grateful.  I am grateful that I feel God’s grace in my life on a daily basis.  There was a time when I felt so deprived and so dark that I resented people who expressed happiness and gratitude.  I did not believe that the world held … Read more