Brevity

As long as I am alive there will always be another side—an other side.  In the midst of grief, loss, pain, or transition I often feel as if the struggle will never end.  I get stuck in the mire, sometimes allowing dark thoughts to take over and losing myself for a while.  I forget that … Read more

The Miracle

I had always lived a life without love.  It started early, when my needs were neither acknowledged nor met and I slowly became invisible.  My own feelings scared and startled me because they were not important to those around me.  Slowly, I grew ashamed of even having them.  As a child, I was constantly berated for how … Read more

Helen

Last night I dreamt of being in my paternal grandmother’s house.  It was just as she had left it the day I went with her to the hospital.  We didn’t know then that she would never come home, and would instead spend the end of her life in the clutches of Parkinson’s disease, wasting away … Read more

Crescendo

My uncle stopped taking his medication.  He has schizophrenia. He and I have never met face to face—except when I was a toddler—but we have developed a close and caring bond over the phone.  He is a genius who attended an Ivy League college and had the world in his hands; even a fiancée.  One … Read more

Disarmed

She found herself in the throes of something cosmic–a purity of heart emanating from the center of her chest.  She could feel lightness take over as the shadows of yesterday receded from her heart and mind.  She stood in silence, allowing the feeling to wash over her.  It was foreign yet beautiful–the antithesis of the … Read more

The Sideboard

My mother’s mother was diagnosed with lung cancer when I was 10.  Throughout my childhood this woman was a source of light in my life.  She took me on trips, bought me pretty dresses, brushed my hair and fed me sugar cereal and Chocolate Snaps (I can still picture the cat’s face on the box).  … Read more